Convincing my teen to do more around the house
Question from a parent of a 17 year old
Question
Okay for context my teen is still living full time at home but they’re 17 and gearing up to go to uni. I really want them to learn some more skills about managing a home before they go to uni, and honestly i’m a working mum and it would just be so helpful if they could help me out a bit after a tiring day at work. Any ideas about how I could convince them to do more around the house?
Answer
It's great that you're thinking about preparing your teen for university life, but it’s also valid that you want more support at home – luna understands how tough it can be at times, being a working parent.
Here are a few ideas that might help:
1️⃣ Have an open conversation, explaining the benefits
Sit down with your teen and explain why it's important for them to learn these skills – highlight how it will benefit them when they're living independently at uni.
Some examples are that they’ll always have fresh laundry and clean clothes (avoiding smells) or their housemates will be grateful for them keeping their space clean (social benefit).
Find ways to paint it that would benefit them based on their motivators. Within the luna community we’ve noticed lots of teens are motivated to self improve based on how they may come across to others, but every teen is different so try to consider what will make them want to learn more about housework.
2️⃣ Create a schedule
Work together to create a list of tasks and a schedule that fits around their current commitments and also yours – this way, they can see how their help makes a difference both to their skill set through regular practice, but also to your own wellbeing.
3️⃣ Make it a team effort
Sometimes doing chores together can make them feel less like a burden – you could cook a meal together or tackle a cleaning task as a team e.g. unloading the dishwasher as a tag team.
4️⃣ Offer incentives to motivate your teenager
A little motivation can go a long way – maybe they could earn some extra pocket money or have a special treat for helping out, like extra screen time on a game they love?
If you want some extra support, you can always get your teen a subscription to luna – there’s lots of advice to help them take charge of their tasks, and become more empowered through the process.
Ultimately, it's all about finding a balance that works for both of you – encouraging them to take on more responsibility now will definitely pay off in the long run so you’re doing the right thing by asking this question and finding a solution.
Are you a parent in need of support? Ask luna using this form and our experts will pick 4 to address in our newsletter – which you can sign up to here or by scrolling down.
How we created this article:
luna's team of experts comprises GPs, Dermatologists, Safeguarding Leads and Junior Doctors as well as Medical Students with specialised interests in paediatric care, mental health and gynaecology. All articles are created by experts, and reviewed by a member of luna's senior review team.
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