Coming out to family and friends

luna’s here to support you ❤️

Quick summary 📝

1️⃣ Coming out is personal, and there’s no right time. It’s okay to wait until you’re ready, or not to use labels at all

2️⃣ Starting with someone you trust and thinking about your safety can make it feel easier

3️⃣ Other people’s reactions aren’t your responsibility, and support is out there if you need it

Rated 4.8

Join a community of teens who get what you're going through

Download luna

If you’re reading this, then you may have discovered something new about yourself and what makes you, you ❤️

You may now be thinking about sharing what you’ve discovered with others, and luna’s here to support you.

Learning more about yourself can be confusing. It’s sometimes exciting, sometimes scary.

However you feel, that is completely valid!

luna wants you to know that we’re proud of you for going through this journey.

For some people it isn’t easy, and if it hasn’t been for you, then well done for getting this far.

When is a good time to come out?

Accepting yourself and learning about yourself is a really big part of this journey, so readiness is different for everyone. And that’s okay.

Take as long as you need, and remember that you don’t have to tell anyone until you’re ready.

Whether it’s weeks, months, or years from now, it’s your decision to make 🫶

You also don’t need to use labels if you aren’t sure, it may be more of a feeling you’re experiencing that you want to open up about.

Identity is always changing, and you don’t need to decide anything straight away (or ever).

What if you’re not ready to come out?

If you decide not to come out to your family or friends for a while, that’s absolutely okay.

For whatever reason, whether it doesn’t feel safe, you’re scared of how they’ll react, or it doesn’t feel important to tell them yet.

It doesn’t mean that you’re hiding something from them, and it doesn’t make you a liar.

It can feel isolating to not be able to be open about yourself, but always remember that you’re never alone! There is always someone to listen or help.

Try to find a support system to fall back on, and people who understand you. Whether that’s other LGBTQ+ people or allies who love and accept you for who you are 💖 

If you’re ever worried about your safety at home, Childline can help any time on 0800 1111.

And if you want to talk to someone who gets it, Switchboard’s LGBTQ+ helpline is free on 0800 0119 100, 10am to 10pm every day.

How should someone come out?

There’s no right or wrong approach, but some pointers to consider are:

👉 Tell someone you’re comfortable with first: they can give you advice, and even be by your side when you tell others

👉 Practise what you’ll say: write it down or say it out loud first. You can keep your notes somewhere safe until you’re ready

👉 Set up the conversation: pick a time and place where you’ll both feel comfortable, and you’ll have their full attention

👉 It doesn’t have to be face to face: if saying it out loud feels too hard, a text, email or letter can be a great way to start the conversation. It gives you time to find the right words, and gives them time to take it in

👉 Set some boundaries: it’s your story, so you get to decide who knows. Let people know if you’d rather they didn’t tell anyone else yet

👉 Plan your “after”: think about what you’ll do once you’ve told them, like seeing a friend or doing something you enjoy

What if it doesn’t go well?

Sometimes people don’t react the way we hope, and that can really hurt.

Try to remember that how someone reacts isn’t your responsibility. It says more about them than it does about you.

Being LGBTQ+ is never wrong or shameful. If anyone’s made you feel that way, luna’s so sorry 💛

Some people need time to process, and their first reaction isn’t always how they’ll feel forever.

If you don’t feel safe

For some people, coming out can lead to really difficult situations, like being treated badly or even being told to leave home.

If that happens, it’s not your fault, and there is help out there.

👉 In immediate danger: call 999

👉 At risk of losing your home: if you’re 16 to 25, akt helps LGBTQ+ young people facing homelessness or living somewhere hostile. You can use their live chat or refer yourself online

👉 Under 16 and not safe at home: talk to a teacher, school nurse or another adult you trust, and they can help you get support

👉 If someone’s hurt or threatened you: Galop supports LGBTQ+ people who’ve experienced abuse, on 0800 999 5428

👉 If you need to talk right now: text SHOUT to 85258, or call Samaritans on 116 123, any time

For more information on Galop, akt, and Switchboard, you can have a look at the sources of this article below.

You deserve to be safe, accepted and loved for exactly who you are.

From everyone here at luna: we support you completely. Do whatever is best for you, and look after yourself 💕

Rated 4.8

Join a community of teens who get what you're going through

Download luna