Coming out to family and friends
luna’s here to support you ❤️
Quick summary 📝
1️⃣ Coming out is a deeply personal journey, and how ready someone feels to do this and when varies for everyone
2️⃣ Don't feel pressured to use labels; identity is fluid and can change over time
3️⃣ If you're not ready to come out, it's okay. Seek a support system among LGBTQ+ peers and allies
4️⃣ When coming out, choose someone you're comfortable with to start the conversation
5️⃣ Don't rush; take your time to know yourself and have the conversation in a comfortable setting
6️⃣ Remember that others' reactions are not your responsibility; their response reflects them, not you
7️⃣ Take care of yourself through this process, and seek support if you need to help you through this
If you’re reading this, then you may have discovered something new about yourself and what makes you, you ❤️ You may now be thinking about sharing what you’ve discovered with others, and luna’s here to support you.
Learning more about yourself can be confusing – it’s sometimes exciting, sometimes scary. However you feel, that is completely valid! luna wants you to know that we’re proud of you for going through this journey. For some people it isn’t easy, and if it hasn’t been for you then well done for getting this far.
When is a good time to come out?
Accepting yourself and learning about yourself is a really big part of this journey, so readiness is different for everyone. And that’s okay. Take as long as you need, and remember that you don’t have to tell anyone until you’re ready. Whether it’s weeks, months, or years from now, it’s your decision to make
You also don’t need to use labels if you aren’t sure, it may be more of a feeling you’re experiencing that you want to open up about. Identity is always changing, and you don’t need to decide anything straight away (or ever).
What if you’re not ready to come out?
If you decide not to come out to your family or friends for a while, that’s absolutely okay. For whatever reason – whether it doesn’t feel safe, you’re scared of how they’ll react, or it doesn’t feel important to tell them yet. It doesn’t mean that you’re hiding something from them and it doesn’t make you a liar. It can feel isolating to not be able to be open about yourself, but always remember that you’re never alone! There is always someone to listen or help.
Try to find a support system to fall back on, and people who understand you. Whether that’s other LGBTQ+ people or allies who love and accept you for who you are 💖
How should someone come out?
If you do decide to come out to your family and friends, well done! There’s no right or wrong approach 💯 but some pointers to consider are:
- Tell someone you’re comfortable with first: they might have some good advice or a strategy on how to approach coming out to more people. That person can be by your side when you choose to come out to others who you fear may not be as understanding
- Don’t rush things: as luna mentioned earlier, it takes time to know yourself and that’s okay! Don’t feel like you need to rush into choosing labels for yourself or declaring who you are if you’re still figuring things out 💛
- Set up the conversation: when you’re ready, set up a conversation that feels natural but also comfortable - both for you and for the person or people you are coming out to. Think about a setting and context where are you going to feel most comfortable having this conversation and in which you'll have the person's full attention
What if it doesn’t go well?
This can be hard, but try to remind yourself that how someone reacts isn’t your responsibility, and it tells you more about them than it does about you❣️It’s not your fault at all if you’ve been made to feel unwelcome or alone because of who you are. Being LGBTQ+ is not bad, shameful, wrong, weird, or anything negative. And if you’ve been made to feel that way luna’s so sorry.
From everyone here at luna: we support you completely. Do whatever is best for you, and look after yourself. You can also find some resources in the app that might be useful to read 💕