8 ways to help your teen make friends

As a parent, what can you do?

For teenagers, friendships play a crucial role in emotional and social development as they grow their identities outside of their families.

Friends can help shape values, offer a sense of belonging and even be there for emotional support – 44% of luna members said they’d be most likely to turn to a friend for advice when they’re stressed!

But making and maintaining friendships can sometimes be a source of stress and anxiety, especially if your teen struggles to connect with others. 

If your teen is finding it hard to build friendships, here are some practical steps you can take to help them navigate this important aspect of their life.

How can I help my teen make friends?

1️⃣ Encourage open communication

The first step in helping your teen make friends is to create a safe space for open communication. 

Encourage them to share their feelings, fears, and experiences without judgement, listen actively, and show empathy. Sometimes, just being heard is what they may need.

Using open-ended questions can help your teen articulate their thoughts and may reveal underlying issues that need addressing, for example if they're struggling with bullying.

2️⃣ Identify interests and hobbies

One of the most effective ways to make friends is by connecting with people with similar interests. 

Encourage your teen to explore hobbies and passions, whether it’s sports, music, art, or something else entirely. 

Engaging in activities they enjoy can boost their confidence and provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals.

Consider enrolling them in clubs, classes, or community groups like a youth club where they can pursue their interests in a social setting and build friendships in an enjoyable, low-pressure environment.

3️⃣ Support social skills development

Some teens may need a bit of support developing the necessary social skills. 

If your teen struggles with initiating conversations, understanding social cues, or managing conflicts, consider working on these skills together through activities such as role-playing.

Practise common social scenarios, such as introductions, joining in with group conversations, or inviting someone to meet up. Discuss the importance of active listening, taking a genuine interest in others, and being kind and inclusive by involving other members of a group in conversations.

4️⃣ Encourage a positive online presence

In today’s age, a lot of teen social interaction occurs online. While the internet can be a great way to connect with others, it’s important to guide your teen in building a positive and healthy online presence. 

You can encourage them to join online communities that align with their interests and meet people from all over the globe, but also set boundaries around screen time to ensure they have plenty of opportunities to connect with peers face-to-face, and stress the importance of cyber safety when engaging with people online.

If your teen has started forming online friendships, read our advice to a parent on navigating online friendships safely.

One thing we like to teach teens is about the Billboard Test – this essentially means reflecting on anything we post online whether as a status or a private chat and consider whether we'd want it on a billboard next to our face and name. Would they want school to see it? Would they want friends or family to see it? If the answer is no, it's not worth posting/sending.

5️⃣ Teach resilience and coping strategies

Friendship dynamics can be extremely complicated, and it's natural for teens to experience ups and downs – especially with all the emotional and physical changes they're experiencing through puberty. Within our app, luna's team of experts get thousands of questions about navigating tricky friendships – it's one of our most asked about topics! You can preview lots of our questions here, if you're interested.

Teaching your teen emotional resilience will help them navigate the inevitable challenges that come with teenage friendships. Encourage them to see these experiences as opportunities to learn and grow. Share strategies for coping with rejection or conflict such as engaging in a calming activity, or talking things over with a trusted friend or family member.

If your teen is feeling left out or has been removed from a social group, check out our answer to a parent question on what to do if your daughter is kicked out of her group chat.

6️⃣ Model healthy relationships

Children often learn how to form and maintain relationships by observing their parents. 

Be a positive role model by demonstrating healthy friendships in your own life. Show them what it means to be a supportive, trustworthy, and compassionate friend. Discuss your own experiences with friendship, including both the positives and the challenges. This can help normalise the ups and downs of social relationships and provide your teen with valuable insights.

7️⃣ Respect their individuality

It can be helpful to be aware that every teen is different, and not all are naturally outgoing or eager to join larger social groups. 

Encourage them to embrace who they are and remind them that quality is more important than quantity when it comes to friendships.

If your teen is new to school and struggling socially, here is some advice we offered a parent with tips for helping teens make friends in a new environment.

8️⃣ Be patient and supportive

Finally, remember that making friends is a process that takes time. 

Your teen may experience setbacks, but your patience and unwavering support will make all the difference. Celebrate their efforts, no matter how small, and remind them that they are always valued and loved.

If your teen continues to struggle with making friends, consider seeking additional support from a school counsellor, therapist, or other responsible adult to get a new perspective on the situation.

For more specific scenarios on teen relationships and friendships, you can also explore common questions and expert answers from the luna community.

Helping your teen make friends is a journey that requires empathy, understanding, and patience. By fostering open communication, encouraging their interests, and developing their social skills, you can support them in building meaningful and lasting friendships.

Why not support your teen with luna premium?

Our app, luna, has dedicated advice on this topic which can help them feel more empowered through adolescence.

You can think of luna as a modern, digital approach to wellbeing – it’s cost-effective, verified by doctors and safeguarding experts, and has a direct line into the biggest concerns facing teens today – so it’s actually addressing what they need advice on, when they need it.

If you’ve been looking for an antidote to the misinformation and negativity shared on social media or forums, you can get luna for your teen via our luna premium page for the price of a coffee each month or manage their subscription by downloading luna yourself and signing up as a parent (it's "we are luna" in app stores).