Explaining sexuality terms

A quick guide for parents

Sexuality is a big topic that teens talk about, whether at school or on social media. With this in mind, it can very helpful as a parent to understand some of the common sexuality definitions and some examples of sexuality; this can be a great way to show you're open to learning and hearing about the conversations your teen is having. Then, whether they're a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, have a friend who is a part of it, or simply just curious, they can feel more comfortable coming to you with questions or to talk about this with you.

Before we get into sexuality terms, what is the meaning of sexuality?

Sexuality is an umbrella term, often encompassing sexual and romantic attraction. Sexual and romantic attraction can be the same or different. Sexuality is personal and is fluid so can change throughout a person’s life.

Sexuality is not the same as gender. Despite both things being personal, they are very different and are often confused. 

Below are some examples of sexuality labels:

Just a note to say that there are actually loads more different sexuality definitions, but these are the few most common ones to know.

• Queer meaning: an umbrella term often encompassing all sexualities and gender identities other than straight/heterosexual and cisgender (when you identify as the same gender as you were assigned at birth)
• Straight/Heterosexual meaning: somebody who is attracted to a gender different to their own (men attracted to women, and women attracted to men)
• Lesbian meaning: a term often used for non-men who are primarily attracted to non-men (often women who are attracted to non-binary people or other women, or non-binary people who are attracted to women or other non-binary people) 
• Gay meaning: somebody who is attracted to the same gender as themselves. For example, a man who is primarily attracted to other men. Anyone of any gender can use this term if they feel it suits them. For example, some women who are only attracted to other women may prefer the term gay instead of lesbian – this is personal preference
• Bisexual meaning: a term used for someone who is attracted to more than one gender – this may be any number from 2 to all genders
• Pansexual meaning: somebody who is attracted to all genders. They often describe their attraction as being attracted to someone regardless of their gender
• Asexual meaning: somebody who feels no sexual attraction to others. They can still be involved in sexual activity if they wish, and some may have a desire to form romantic relationships
• Demisexual meaning: somebody who needs a strong emotional connection to somebody to feel sexual attraction towards them
• Biromantic meaning: this is someone who feels romantic attraction to more than one gender. This is like bisexuality but about romantic attraction instead of sexual attraction
• Panromantic meaning: this is a term used to describe someone who feels romantic attraction to all genders (similar to pansexual, except romantic attraction)
• Aromantic meaning: similar to asexual, this is somebody who does not feel any romantic attraction towards anyone
• Demiromantic meaning: this is similar to demisexual. This is a term used for somebody who needs a strong emotional connection to feel romantic attraction towards someone

Knowing these different sexuality labels will hopefully help you in a conversation if your teen ever vocalises to you that they may identify as one – you can also explore helping your teen with coming out for additional guidance.

What to do if you don't know how best to have this conversation?

If your teen every comes to you about this and you're really stuck, firstly it's important to give yourself grace – there is no expectation that you will know all of this, and it's okay to ask your teen for time or to consult expert-backed resources.

The most important thing in the moment is that you keep an open mind and let your teen know that you don't have all the answers, but that you are willing to learn and return to the conversation – consider these tips for talking to your teen about mental health to build confidence in approaching sensitive topics.

Why not support your teen with luna premium?

Our app, luna, has dedicated advice on this topic which can help them feel more empowered through adolescence.

You can think of luna as a modern, digital approach to wellbeing – it’s cost-effective, verified by doctors and safeguarding experts, and has a direct line into the biggest concerns facing teens today – so it’s actually addressing what they need advice on, when they need it.

If you’ve been looking for an antidote to the misinformation and negativity shared on social media or forums, you can get luna for your teen via our luna premium page for the price of a coffee each month or manage their subscription by downloading luna yourself and signing up as a parent (it's "we are luna" in app stores).