Finding a safe tutor for your teen

+ checking in with your teen

Finding the right tutor for your teen who you find trustworthy and safe – whether it’s a local tutor, an online tutor, or someone providing home tutoring – can feel challenging. 

So, we want to address some of the biggest questions around this topic, to help you if you need.

Scroll for some top tips to guide you through the process and help you feel confident in your decision to find a tutor who’s a good fit for your family.

How to find the right kind of tutor for my teen?

It can be helpful to start by chatting with your teen – you could ask how they feel about getting extra help and then whether they’d prefer in-person tutoring with a local tutor or learning through an online tutor.

Some teens feel more comfortable at home, while others may focus better in a library or other neutral spaces.

By including them in the conversation, it can help them feel more confident and engaged in the process, which is key for making the tutoring experience as positive and effective as possible.

If your teen is feeling anxious about tutoring or school, you might also find these tips on how to help with school anxiety helpful in starting the conversation.

How can I trust this tutor?

It's normal to feel a bit cautious when choosing a tutor, luna understands there can be some scary stories around this.

Asking for references and checking if they’ve had a background check can help ease any concerns – you are absolutely within your right to do so. Don't feel guilty about pushing for credentials.

If you’re using a tutoring agency, they’ll likely handle these checks for you, but if it’s a private tutor, you might want to ask for copies of their vetting documents. It’s also okay to ask, “Could you share a bit about your experience or any references?”

Where should tutoring happen?

The space you choose can help your teen feel both safe and focused. 

For home tutoring sessions, picking an open area in your home, like the living room or kitchen, where you can check in now and then, might work best. 

If tutoring is happening online, using a secure platform that you and your teen are comfortable with can provide peace of mind – you could suggest having the online session in a space where you can pop in as well, without being intrusive. Again like an open area of your home, rather than their bedroom.

How do I set up a safe tutoring session for my teen?

Right from the start, it’s important to have clear rules in place. It’s good to think about things like: 

• Location: tutoring should happen in a safe, public area like a library, a designated space in your home where others are nearby, or in a tutor's house (once you’ve visited the house with your teen)
• Time: keep tutoring sessions within the time allotted – make sure they start and finish roughly on time
• Communication: in general, conversations between your teen and their tutor should be related to studies. It’s ok for them to occasionally have a bit of small talk (this means polite conversation, e.g. asking about school or a recent holiday 💡) but extensive chats about personal things isn’t normal 🚫so do ask your teen now and again if this is happening

To keep your teen motivated during tutoring, check out our article on how to motivate your teenager for more practical tips.

Are there any red flags I should look out for with a tutor?

If something feels a little off, it’s important to trust your gut. Maybe the tutor is getting too personal or asking your teen questions that don’t relate to their lessons – that’s something worth noting. Or if they try to reach out to your teen outside of tutoring sessions, it’s a good time to step in. You can gently remind your teen: “if something ever feels a bit weird, you can always come to me.”

If you aren’t sure if red flags are present, you can ask your teen the following questions, in a way that feels natural to you, to figure out if a situation isn’t quite right: 

• Does the tutor make them feel uncomfortable?
• Is the tutor asking them very personal questions?
• Does the tutor want to spend time with them outside of tutoring?
• Does the tutor ever ask them to keep secrets?
• Does the tutor try to see them on their own – outside of sessions?
• Are they trying to be more like a friend than a tutor?

How do I know if my teen is happy with the tutor?

After each session, it’s a good idea to check in with your teen. 

A quick “How did it go? Was the tutor helpful?” can give you insight into how they’re feeling. 

Encourage them to share any thoughts – whether the tutor explains things clearly or if anything feels off. 

Keeping an eye on non-verbal cues, like if they seem relaxed or uneasy after a session, can also be helpful – especially if you know your teen is less likely to vocalise something they’re worried about.

How involved should I be?

Staying involved makes a big difference. 

A quick check-in with the tutor after a session – something as simple as “What did you cover today?” – helps you stay in the loop. 

If possible, observing part of a session can also provide insight without being intrusive. 

Hopefully this helps you!

Really hope this article hasn’t worried you – the vast majority of tutors are really great people and teachers. This is just a guide to make sure you feel assured in your teen's safety.

This advice applies whether you’re using local tutors for home tutoring or an online tutor – your involvement will hopefully help you feel more connected to the process and make sure your teen feels safe and comfortable in their studies.

Why not support your teen with luna premium?

Our app, luna, has dedicated advice on this topic which can help them feel more empowered through adolescence.

You can think of luna as a modern, digital approach to wellbeing – it’s cost-effective, verified by doctors and safeguarding experts, and has a direct line into the biggest concerns facing teens today – so it’s actually addressing what they need advice on, when they need it.

If you’ve been looking for an antidote to the misinformation and negativity shared on social media or forums, you can get luna for your teen via our luna premium page for the price of a coffee each month or manage their subscription by downloading luna yourself and signing up as a parent (it's "we are luna" in app stores).