In short

If you're wondering how well you really know your daughter, that curiosity is a good sign in itself. 

Research shows parents learn most about teen girls' lives when daughters choose to share, not through checking up. 

Take the 15 question quiz below, then use any gaps as conversation starters rather than evidence you've failed.

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How well do I know my daughter? Take the quiz

Answer the 15 questions below honestly, and count how many you could answer with real confidence rather than a hopeful guess.

There are no trick questions, and nobody's marking you. 

Think of it as a snapshot of how much of her day-to-day world she's currently letting you see.

• Who would she say is her closest friend right now?
• What song or artist is she playing on repeat?
• What's her favourite way to spend a free Saturday?
• What's worrying her most at the moment?
• Which subject or teacher does she dread?
• What's the last thing that made her properly laugh?
• Who does she sit with at lunch?
• What does she currently want to do when she leaves school?
• What's her go-to comfort food?
• Which app does she spend the most time on?
• What compliment would mean the most to her?
• What's something she's proud of but would never announce?
• Is there a friendship or relationship stressing her out right now?
• When she's upset, does she talk, go quiet, or disappear to her room?
• If she could change one thing about school, what would it be?

What do my quiz answers actually mean?

Your score reflects how much your daughter is currently sharing with you, not how much you love her or how good a parent you are. 

Those are very different things.

What your score suggests:

• 11 to 15 confident answers: she's letting you into her world right now, so keep doing whatever low-pressure thing you're doing
• 6 to 10: completely typical for the teenage years, with some doors open and others quietly closed
• 0 to 5: she's keeping her world private at the moment, which usually says more about her stage of development than about your relationship

The evidence backs this up. 

A meta-analysis of 32 studies found that what parents know about their teen's life comes mostly from teens choosing to open up, and that parental warmth is what sets the stage for that sharing.

In other words, you can't quiz your way into her world. You can only make it feel safe to invite you in.

Why doesn't my daughter tell me things anymore?

Pulling away is one of the main jobs of adolescence. 

She's working out who she is when you're not watching, and privacy is part of that.

The NHS notes that teenagers often hit out at the people they most love and trust, not because they hate them, but because they feel confused and don't know how to express it.

It also helps to know that judgement closes doors fast. 

When her choices aren't pre-judged as stupid or wrong, she's far more likely to explain why they made sense to her.

If conversation has dried up almost completely, you might find luna's guide on what to do when you've stopped talking to your teenage daughter helpful.

Some girls also like having a private place to look things up before they're ready to talk. 

luna gives teen girls exactly that: health and growing-up answers reviewed by medical experts, with no judgement and nothing being sold to her.

How can I get to know my teenage daughter better?

Little and often beats the big sit-down chat. 

Most daughters open up side by side, in the car or over a baking tray, rather than face to face.

Talking during an activity takes the pressure off, because she doesn't have to make eye contact and silences feel more comfortable.

Small things that tend to work:

• Chat side by side: car journeys, dog walks and cooking together all lower the stakes
• Ask open questions like "how has your day been?" rather than anything that sounds like an interrogation
• Let her be the expert and ask her to explain a trend, a song or a game she loves
• Pick your battles, because if everything gets a comment, she may stop sharing the big stuff
• Keep showing up even on one-word-answer days, since consistency is what registers

It's worth the effort. 

One review of 37 studies found that teens who rated communication with their parents as higher quality had better mental health, including lower levels of depression and anxiety.

If you'd like a starting point, this list of fun things to do with your teenage daughter is full of side-by-side ideas.

FAQs

Is it normal to get a low score on this quiz?

Yes, especially in the mid-teen years when privacy peaks. 

A low score is a snapshot of this season, not a verdict on your relationship, and it often shifts within months.

Should I do the quiz with my daughter?

If she's up for it, absolutely. 

Try it both ways and let her guess answers about your life too. 

It turns the quiz into exactly the kind of low-pressure, side-by-side moment that gets teens talking.

Does getting to know her better mean checking her phone?

No. 

Research suggests parents learn most when teens share voluntarily, and covert monitoring can damage the trust that makes sharing happen. 

There's a fuller picture in luna's guide on whether you should check your daughter's phone.

When should I worry that my daughter won't talk to me?

Some distance from you is normal. It's different if she's withdrawn from friends too, or you notice lasting changes in sleep, eating or mood. 

This guide to normal teen behaviour vs signs something's wrong can help you tell the difference, and a doctor is a good first port of call if you're concerned.

However you scored, the fact you took the quiz at all says something lovely about how much you care. 

Keep the questions handy, stay curious, and let her surprise you. 

And if she'd like somewhere of her own to explore growing up at her own pace, luna was built for exactly that.

Rated 4.8

Try luna: the world’s #1 teen health and wellbeing app

Find out more