What do daughters want to hear from their mothers?

Daughters often want to feel heard, valued, and unconditionally supported.

So what matters most isn’t always advice – sometimes it’s presence, empathy, and reassurance that you're there, no matter what.

Being consistent and emotionally available helps your daughter trust you with her thoughts, feelings, and struggles.

And listening without judgement encourages her to open up more naturally over time.

Why do teen daughters pull away from their mothers?

Pulling away is a normal part of growing up and asserting independence.

Teens are exploring identity, social circles, and romantic relationships, which can make them seem distant at times.

Other reasons for temporary distance include:

• Fear of judgement: teens may avoid sharing if they expect criticism
• Feeling misunderstood: changes at school or with friends can make home feel out of step
• Social pressures: peer influence and the desire to fit in may shift focus away from family
• Emotional overwhelm: mood swings, stress, or insecurity can cause withdrawal

Recognising that distance isn’t personal may help you respond with calm and patience rather than frustration.

What to do when your daughter shuts you out

When your daughter shuts you out, pushing harder usually backfires.

The most effective approach is to stay emotionally available and open a small door for communication.

Helpful strategies:

• Acknowledge her feelings: “I notice you seem upset. I’m here if you want to talk”
• Avoid lecturing or reacting emotionally
• Offer small moments of connection (sharing a snack, car ride, or activity)
• Respect their need for privacy while letting them know you’re present

Even small gestures of attention and care remind them that your relationship is safe and steady.

How can I show my daughter I love her?

Love is felt through both words and actions.

Small, consistent expressions of care and attention help your daughter feel secure, valued, and understood.

Some practical ways to show love:

• Say it often: “I love you” or “I’m proud of you” matters more than you might think
• Listen first, advise later: let them vent or share freely before offering guidance
• Celebrate small wins: acknowledge everyday achievements, effort, and personal growth
• Spend intentional time together: even 10-15 minutes focused on their interests can make them feel prioritised
• Little gestures: notes, messages, or checking in during the day show you’re thinking of them

These actions build trust that strengthens your bond, making it easier for her to approach you during bigger challenges.

You may also want to check out our mother and daughter days out ideas article for inspiration.

Things to say to your daughter so she feels loved

Words can have a powerful impact on your daughter’s confidence and sense of being valued.

Simple, heartfelt phrases that show understanding, pride, and unconditional support help strengthen your bond and let them know they are truly seen.

Try using some of these examples regularly:

• “I love you, no matter what”
• “I’m proud of you for trying”
• “I notice how hard you’re working” 
• “You can tell me anything, I’ll listen” 
• “I believe in you”
• “I enjoy spending time with you”
• “I understand why you feel that way”
• “You’re capable of figuring this out, and I’m here if you need me”

What do parents need to remember about connecting with their teens?

Your daughter will pull away at times, and that’s normal and not your fault.

What really matters is how you respond: with patience, empathy, and steady presence.

Even when she seems distant or shut out, small, consistent gestures of care and reassurance help her feel loved and supported.

Over time, these efforts strengthen trust, deepen your bond, and make it easier for her to turn to you when she needs guidance, comfort, or just someone who listens.