My teen has been making friends online...

Question from a parent of a 16 year old

Question

My teen really struggles with friends at school and so has been making friends online. Should I be worried?

Answer

It's understandable to be concerned about your teen making friends online, especially when they struggle with friendships at school and so this is their way to connect with others.

Online friendships can actually be a great way for teens to connect with others who share their interests and hobbies, but it's definitely important to make sure they stay safe – you can never be too sure who's behind the screen on the other side, so caution is necessary.

While there's no perfect way to manage this, and every teen/parent dynamic is different, here are some tips to help you navigate this situation:

• Educate about online safety: make sure your teen knows the importance of not sharing any personal information with someone online who they do not know in person and so can't validate their safety, like their full name, address, or school
• Monitor their online activity: this is a tricky one and really depends on your relationship and trust with your teen, but you might want to at least keep an eye on who your teen is talking to and what platforms they are using – encourage open communication so they feel comfortable sharing their online experiences with you
• Encourage real-life interactions: online is not the only way to make friends! Help your teen find opportunities to make friends in person, such as joining clubs, sports teams, or other extracurricular activities – things that they are truly interested in can help them find like-minded people. In school this may not have been the case for them, but there are often clubs in the local area which they could sign up to and try out; luna's got a guide for parents with ways you can help your teen make friends
• Discuss the risks: talk to your teen about the potential dangers of online friendships, such as catfishing or encountering inappropriate content, and how to handle these situations – you could also recommend that they download the luna app, which has lots of information on online safety and navigating this safely!
• Keep the conversation going: regularly check in with your teen about their online friendships and any concerns they might have – these don't always have to be very deep conversations, just show interest in their friendships and listen out for warning signs in case you do need to escalate e.g. if it sounds like they're not who they say they are, they want to meet up or the relationship sounds unsafe

As mentioned earlier, there unfortunately isn't a perfect way to handle this, but by ensuring your teen knows you aren't there to judge but instead are interested in being a part of their life and hobbies you can hopefully monitor this closely and take action if needed.

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