What's worrying teens about going back to school?

Find out what your child might be thinking about

We recently polled our teen and tween community on our app, luna, to find out what was worrying them most or making them the most anxious about getting back to school in September. 

We thought it might be helpful to share the results of this poll with parents, along with some top tips if you want to approach your child about these concerns and offer them advice. The advice you give them is totally up to you, but we’ve offered up an idea as well based on what we’ve found resonates with our community of teens.

1. Fitting in (20.14%)

Conversation starter: "school can be pretty pressuring sometimes when it comes to our identity, trust me I remember – how are you feeling about fitting in this year?"

Advice: encourage your teen to join clubs or groups that align with their interests – this will help them meet people who are right for them. Remind them that everyone is trying to find their place and making new friends can take time – in time, and by staying true to their passions and goals, they will find their tribe.

2. Appearance (20.00%)

Conversation starter: "I’ve been spotting a lot on social media/I’ve noticed from speaking to people that there’s a lot of pressure around “summer glow ups”, I just wanted to check that you’re not feeling the same ahead of school starting, and if you are shall we chat about how I can help?"

Advice: emphasise that they should wear what makes them feel comfortable and confident. Remind them that everyone has insecurities, even the ones we think are the most amazing looking people, but a big part of how we appear to others is owning our style and not caring about what others have to say. This guide on spotting low self-esteem in your teen might help if social media is contributing to confidence issues.

3. Missing friendships (11.18%)

Conversation starter: "it's tough being away from friends over the summer. Are you worried about reconnecting with them?" or if it’s a new school “I know you won’t be seeing your old friends as much any more, just wanted to check how you’re feeling about that?”

Advice: suggest planning activities or meet-ups outside of school to rekindle friendships and keep them going. Encourage them to be open to making new friends as well, which can help ease the anxiety of losing old ones or being too dependent on too few people who may also be going through social changes.

4. Homework load (10.55%)

Conversation starter: "how are you feeling about the homework load this year? Just wanted to check in case you wanted some help getting a routine in place ahead of time"

Advice: help them create a study schedule to manage their time effectively. Encourage regular breaks and remind them it's okay to ask for help from you or a teacher/school counsellor if they're feeling overwhelmed. Here’s some advice on how to get your teen to do their homework if motivation is a struggle.

5. New start (7.87%)

Conversation starter: "new beginnings can be exciting but scary for some. How do you feel about starting a new school year?"

Advice: reassure them that it's normal to feel nervous about new starts – it’s a sign they care, and this can serve them well! Encourage them to set small, achievable goals each day to help them feel more in control and confident. Remind them that in time it’ll all feel much more normal and that lots of other people will be in the same boat. If your teen is new to school, this article about making friends might also offer reassurance.

6. Bullying (7.26%)

Conversation Starter: "are you worried about bullying at all or how to handle mean people? I’d love to help if you are, I’ve got some ideas!"

Advice: make sure they know they can talk to you about any bullying incidents. Remind them to seek help from teachers or counsellors if needed and to keep a record of all incidents as best they can – and if someone makes a nasty joke, a top tip is to ask the bully to repeat it because you couldn’t hear, the more someone repeats a joke the more awkward they’ll become! For a deeper dive, check out these signs your teen is being bullied or steps to take if they are.

7. Teachers (5.23%)

Conversation starter: "how are you feeling about starting school again soon? Do you have any concerns about your teachers?"

Advice: suggest they introduce themselves to their teachers early on to build a positive relationship. Encourage them to ask questions and seek help when needed, showing teachers that they are engaged and eager to learn.

8. Peer pressure (4.51%)

Conversation starter: "peer pressure can be tough whatever age we are, but I get that for teens it’s often worse when there’s so much change going on. Are you worried about that in the new school year?"

Advice: remind them that it's okay to say no and that true friends will respect their choices. Encourage them to stay true to their values and seek out friends who support them. If your teen is struggling socially, here’s how to help your daughter feel included in trends so they feel less left out.

9. Getting lost (3.84%)

Conversation starter: "new schools or changes in the school layout can be super confusing. Are you worried about finding your way around?"

Advice: suggest taking a tour of the school before it starts or arriving early on the first day to get used to the layout – in particular, where the toilets and timetabled classrooms are. Encourage them to ask for directions if they get lost – it’s more common than they think.

10. Social media (3.78%)

Conversation Starter: "social media is such a big part of life now – do you have any worries about it when school starts, and any pressure it might bring?"

Advice: encourage them to balance their time on social media with other activities. Discuss the importance of staying safe online and remind them to be mindful of what they post.

11. Balancing activities (3.64%)

Conversation starter: "balancing school, activities, and personal time can be tricky, I know from experience – are you worried about how to manage everything?"

Advice: help them prioritise their activities and create a balanced schedule. Encourage them to leave time for relaxation and hobbies they enjoy.

Hope this has given you some good pointers to work with if you want to connect with your teen and ask them about how they’re feeling. Remember, by addressing these worries openly and offering supportive advice, you can be a big help to your teen when it comes to them feeling more prepared and less anxious about the upcoming school year.

Why not support your teen with luna premium?

Our app, luna, has dedicated advice on this topic which can help them feel more empowered through adolescence.

You can think of luna as a modern, digital approach to wellbeing – it’s cost-effective, verified by doctors and safeguarding experts, and has a direct line into the biggest concerns facing teens today – so it’s actually addressing what they need advice on, when they need it.

If you’ve been looking for an antidote to the misinformation and negativity shared on social media or forums, you can get luna for your teen via our luna premium page for the price of a coffee each month or manage their subscription by downloading luna yourself and signing up as a parent (it's "we are luna" in app stores).