Narcissism and teen girls

Is your daughter showing narcissistic traits?

Quick summary

• Many behaviours that worry parents – like self-focus, defensiveness, or big emotional reactions – are very common during the teenage years
• True narcissism is rare in adolescents, and most teens do not meet the criteria for a personality disorder
• What can look like narcissistic behaviour is often part of normal brain development, identity-building, and learning how to relate to others

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Worried your daughter might be a narcissist? 

It’s easy to jump to that conclusion when they’re self-focused, moody, or seeking validation. 

However, these behaviours are often just a normal part of growing up.

During adolescence, teens are figuring out who they are, how to handle big emotions, and how to balance friendships, school, and family life. 

This period of self-discovery can be intense, and sometimes it can feel like your daughter is all about them, but that’s usually just normal development in action.

Here’s how you can tell the difference between age-appropriate self-focus, and true narcissistic traits.

What narcissism actually means

True narcissism (as in narcissistic personality disorder) is a mental health condition that consists of needing constant praise and showing little empathy for others. 

It’s rarely diagnosed in teens because their brains, especially the regions responsible for empathy and self-reflection, are still developing. 

While it’s tempting to label intense or self-focused behaviour as narcissistic, real narcissism involves consistent patterns over time, not occasional teenage moodiness or self-interest.

Teen behaviour that can look like narcissism but is normal

Some behaviours can appear narcissistic but are actually part of normal teen development. 

Teens may:

• Prioritise friends over family
• Be sensitive to criticism
• Seek independence
• May not support at home e.g. with chores
• Experience frequent mood swings

These behaviours are all part of figuring out identity, can often be a symptom of being tired (teens have a lot to balance), or testing boundaries, and navigating peer pressure. 

They can feel extreme at times, but they usually don’t indicate a deeper personality disorder.

Real narcissistic traits to pay attention to in teens 

There are some behaviours that can be red flags if they appear consistently over time:

• A lack of empathy toward others
• Manipulative or controlling behaviour
• Extreme reactions when they’re not praised or validated
• No accountability for harmful actions

If you notice these traits are ongoing and severe, it may be worth consulting a professional for guidance.

Why many teens seem narcissistic during development

It helps to remember that teen brains are still growing, especially in areas that control empathy, self-reflection, and emotional regulation. 

This means that what looks like self-centered behaviour is often just part of normal development.

Teens are figuring out their identity, navigating friendships, coping with social media, and learning to manage emotions that can feel overwhelming. 

From a parent’s perspective, seeing these behaviours up close every day can feel intense and even exhausting. 

But it doesn’t automatically mean something is “wrong.”

What might seem like narcissism is usually just your teen experimenting with independence, testing boundaries, and learning how to relate to others. 

Navigating adolescence with clarity

Most teens are not narcissists; they’re simply navigating the intense and sometimes messy journey of adolescence. 

However, understanding the difference between normal developmental behaviours and concerning patterns can ease worry and help you respond thoughtfully.

If you’re worried about your daughter, recommending the luna app can help give her guidance you can trust, that she’ll listen to. 

On the luna app, we talk about kindness, positive friendships and being responsible, and your daughter can also ask anonymous questions, read medically-approved articles, and track their mood and symptoms, making adolescence so much easier. 

Rated 4.8

Give your daughter the best guide to girlhood with luna

Find out more