14 things you should never say to your teenage daughter
How to avoid any drama
Updated March 13, 2026
In this article
Things you should never say to your teenage daughter
When talking to your teenage daughter, avoid comments about body image, appearance, emotions, or comparisons to others. These comments can be damaging during adolescence as they may unintentionally harm your teenage daughter’s confidence or shut down communication. Also, try to avoid dismissing her feelings, minimising experiences like periods, or criticising how she looks, eats, or expresses herself.
Raising a teenage daughter can be rewarding, but it also comes with moments where communication feels tricky. Many parents say things in frustration or concern that they later wish they had worded differently.
During adolescence, teens are still developing their confidence, identity, and emotional resilience. This means that everyday comments can sometimes land more strongly than intended. By knowing what type of phrases to avoid, you can avoid any drama and keep your connection strong.
What should a parent never say to their daughter?
Avoid commenting on their appearance or emotions, or highlighting anything they may feel embarrassed about. Parents don’t mean to hurt their children, but certain phrases can stay with teens for years. During adolescence, young people are especially sensitive to criticism, rejection, or feeling misunderstood.
Here are some common phrases that can affect teens.
“Don’t eat that, you’ll get fat.”
Comments about food or weight can stick with teens far longer than parents realise (hence the phrase almond mum). Many parents say things like this without thinking, especially if they grew up hearing similar messages themselves.
But during adolescence, body image is particularly sensitive. Even casual remarks can influence how teens see their bodies or how they relate to food. A more helpful approach is focusing on healthy eating and wellbeing rather than appearance.
“Are you really going to wear that?”
Teenagers often experiment with clothing and style as part of figuring out who they are. Sometimes that means outfits parents find confusing, impractical, or just… very different from what they’d choose themselves.
While it’s natural to react, comments that sound judgemental can make teens feel criticised rather than guided.
“You’re overreacting.”
What feels like a small issue to an adult can feel enormous to a teenager. Teens are still developing emotional regulation skills, which means reactions can seem bigger or more intense.
Saying “you’re overreacting” may unintentionally dismiss feelings that are very real to them. Acknowledging the emotion first often leads to calmer conversations later.
“My periods weren’t that bad, you’ll be fine.”
Many parents try to reassure their daughters by comparing experiences. The problem is that periods vary hugely from person to person. What was manageable for one person might be painful or overwhelming for another.
Minimising symptoms can make teens feel embarrassed to talk about period pain, PMS mood swings, or questions they have about their bodies.
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
Teenagers often experience emotions intensely - friendships, school pressure, social dynamics, and identity all feel very important at this stage of life. When concerns are brushed off as “not a big deal,” teens may stop sharing them altogether.
Even if the issue seems small from an adult perspective, listening first can make a big difference.
“Other girls your age don’t behave like this.”
It’s natural for parents to compare sometimes, especially when they’re worried about behaviour or attitude. But comparisons can make teens feel like they are constantly falling short.
Every teenager develops at a different pace, emotionally and socially. Feeling accepted for who they are tends to build more confidence than feeling measured against others.
“You’re just being dramatic.”
Many teens hear this phrase when their emotions run high. While it might be said lightly, it can teach teens that expressing feelings leads to criticism or dismissal.
Adolescence is a time of intense emotional learning, and feeling safe to express those emotions helps teens develop healthier coping skills over time.
“You should be more like…”
Comparisons to siblings, friends, or classmates rarely land the way parents intend. Even if the comment is meant as motivation, it can feel like a message that who they are right now isn’t good enough.
Teens benefit more from encouragement that recognises their own strengths and individuality.
“Because I said so.”
Every parent reaches this point sometimes - especially during long negotiations about rules, curfews, or screen time.
Boundaries are important, but shutting down conversation completely can make teens feel powerless or unheard. When possible, explaining the reasoning behind a rule helps teens understand expectations rather than simply resent them.
“That’s a big spot.”
Skin changes are a normal part of puberty, but they can feel like a huge deal to teens. Most young people are already aware of every spot or breakout they have. Drawing attention to teen acne, even casually, can increase embarrassment rather than help.
Reassurance or simply ignoring it often feels more supportive.
“You’re too young to feel that way.”
Teens can experience strong emotions and dismissing feelings because of their age can make them feel misunderstood or shut down. Even if their perspective seems different from an adult’s, giving space to talk about those emotions helps teens process them more confidently.
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Parents often say this when a situation feels complicated or difficult to explain. However, teens may interpret it as being dismissed or excluded from the conversation.
Explaining things in a simple, age-appropriate way helps teens feel respected and trusted.
“It’s just hormones.”
Hormones do influence mood during puberty, but reducing every emotion to hormones can make teens feel like their feelings aren’t taken seriously. It’s more helpful to acknowledge the feeling first and learn constructive ways of talking to your teen about mental health.
“Your friend isn’t very nice, is she?”
Watching your teen struggle in a friendship can be incredibly hard. Parents often want to jump in and protect them - especially if it seems like they’re being treated badly.
But directly criticising a friend can make teens defensive and less likely to open up. Instead, focusing on how the friendship makes them feel (“How did that make you feel?”) can encourage reflection without putting them on the defensive.
Better ways to talk to your teenage daughter
Healthy communication with teens doesn’t mean avoiding boundaries or difficult conversations. It simply means choosing language that keeps the door open rather than shutting it down.
Some helpful approaches include:
- Avoid “you” accusations: instead of “You’re being rude,” try “I felt hurt by what just happened”
- Acknowledge emotions first: phrases like “I can see this is really upsetting you” help teens feel understood before problem-solving begins
- Stay curious rather than critical: questions such as “What made you choose that?” encourage conversation rather than defensiveness
- Offer guidance without judgement: teens are more receptive to advice when they feel respected rather than criticised
- Pick your moments: not every disagreement needs to become a lecture. Timing can make a huge difference in how messages are received
What parents should remember when talking to their teenage daughter
No parent communicates perfectly all the time. Arguments, misunderstandings, and emotional moments are a normal part of raising teenagers.
What matters most is maintaining a relationship where your daughter feels safe coming back to you, even after disagreements. Listening, apologising when needed, and staying open to conversation builds long-term trust.
Teenagers also benefit from having spaces where they can learn about their bodies, emotions, friendships, and growing independence in their own time. luna gives girls access to reliable guidance on topics such as periods, body image, and puberty, helping reinforce the supportive conversations you’re already trying to have at home.
How we created this article:
luna's team of experts comprises GPs, Dermatologists, Safeguarding Leads and Junior Doctors as well as Medical Students with specialised interests in paediatric care, mental health and gynaecology. All articles are created by experts, and reviewed by a member of luna's senior review team.
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