How to know when you’re ready for sex

Making sure you’re ready to take that step 💛

Quick summary 📝

1️⃣ Sex is a big decision, and it's important to know that you must be 16+ in the UK to legally consent to sex or sexual activity

2️⃣ Trusting your partner and feeling comfortable talking about your needs and protection are important factors

3️⃣ Ultimately, this decision can be tricky, so take your time; there's no rush if you aren't sure or feel pressured by anyone

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Having sex for the first time feels like a big deal for almost everyone. This is completely normal.

There can be many pressures affecting someone’s decision to have sex for the first time:

👉 Peer or partner pressure

👉 Wanting to feel older

👉 Wanting it over with

👉 Thinking everyone else is doing it

So what's really important is reflecting beyond those pressures and asking yourself: "Do I actually want this now?"

That said, knowing what you do and don't want can be tricky, so luna's got some pointers for you.

5 questions to ask yourself before having sex for the first time

Before having sex, it's helpful to ask yourself these five questions:

Ask yourself: am I doing this for me?

The decision to have sex should be yours alone.

Some people feel pressured because they think everyone else is doing it, but sex isn’t a race.

If you’re feeling unsure or pressured, say no and take a step back. Older you will be glad you did.

Ask yourself: do I feel safe and respected?

Having a partner you trust and feel safe with makes a big difference.

Sex is emotional as well as physical, and mutual respect and care can make it a much better experience for both of you 💕

If your partner listens to what you want and respects your boundaries, that’s a good sign.

Ask yourself: do I understand consent and the law?

Consent means agreeing to sex because you genuinely want to, with no pressure. Some people call this enthusiastic consent.

👉 Consent is needed every time: whether it’s your first or 100th time, and whether or not you’re in a relationship

👉 You can change your mind: you can say no or stop at any point, even partway through

👉 One thing at a time: agreeing to one thing doesn’t mean agreeing to something else

Someone can’t consent if they’re drunk, high, asleep, or being pressured, like a partner threatening to break up with them.

In the UK, you have to be 16 to legally consent to sex. The law is there to protect young people from being taken advantage of.

Ask yourself: am I prepared for the risks?

Sex can lead to pregnancy or sexually transmitted infection, so being informed and prepared is important.

Condoms are the only contraception that also protects against STIs, so they’re worth using alongside other methods.

Sexual health clinics are free and confidential, even if you’re under 16.

If you or your partner can’t talk openly about contraception and protection, that might be a sign to wait a bit longer.

Being safe is part of being ready.

Ask yourself: do I know what I enjoy?

Understanding what feels good can help make sex a more enjoyable experience.

Masturbation (exploring your own body) is one way to learn what you like.

Knowing what you enjoy can make it easier to talk about with a partner (and for them to share too) 💫

What if you’re feeling pressured?

If someone’s pushing you into anything sexual, that’s not okay, and it’s never your fault.

You can talk to a trusted adult, or call Childline for free on 0800 1111. Sexual health services can help too, without judging you.

What to remember

Sex can be fun and special, but it’s okay and important to take your time before you do it.

It can also really help to try talking about your decision with someone you trust (parent or close friend).

Just make sure you’re doing it for yourself and you trust your partner. That way, your first time can be memorable for the right reasons 💛

Rated 4.8

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