Supporting your child’s transition to secondary school

A full guide to help parents through this

Quick summary:

• The transition from primary to secondary school can bring both excitement and anxiety for young people and their parents
• Worries about friendships, routines, puberty, and independence are all very common
• Parents can help by encouraging open conversations, supporting independence, and helping with emotional wellbeing
• The luna app is there to support teens through stress, change and so much more – it’s full of important advice, all aligned with the PSHE curriculum

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We’ve heard from thousands of teen girls on the luna app that school is a major source of stress – and that starting a new one can make those worries even bigger.

We also know these concerns are front-of-mind for parents – the move to secondary school is a big transition. 

With this in mind, we’ve created a guide that brings together practical tips, reassurance, and teen insights from the luna community to help you support your child every step of the way.

So, let’s get into it.

Why is the move to secondary school a big deal?

Starting “big school” can feel like a major milestone – and that’s because it is.

This is more than just a change in building or teachers. It often coincides with:

• New responsibilities (like packing their own bag or walking to school)
• Big emotional shifts and developing independence
• Puberty and the start of periods for many
• Navigating early friendship pressures
• Their first smartphone and so potential exposure to online trends and social media

In a recent luna poll of 1,957 teens, 1 in 2 (49%) say they feel negative emotions about starting a new school – including feeling anxious, nervous, stressed, scared, insecure, lonely, sad, or annoyed.

Common concerns about secondary school – and how to help as a parent

We get thousands of questions about school and transitioning schools in the luna app, and we want to share some common ones with you to help you support your child day to day.

"Will I make any friends?"

Friendship is top of mind for most children starting a new school. 

They may be worried about leaving primary friendships behind, or feeling unsure in new social settings.

In a luna poll of 1,936 teens, over 3 in 5 (61%) told us their biggest worries about starting a new school are social pressures.

You can help by:

• Reassuring them that friendships take time to build
• Encouraging social opportunities outside of school (read up on luna’s tips on making friends)
• Normalising awkward or quiet starts

"What if I get lost or can’t keep up?"

A bigger school, multiple teachers, and a new routine can feel overwhelming. 

Teens told us their biggest worries include homework pressure, early mornings, and adjusting to a new schedule.

You can help by:

• Doing a practice journey to school
• Helping them organise their timetable or pack their bag the night before
• Talking through common worries using luna’s back-to-school tips

"What if I get my period at school?"

For many girls, starting secondary school is also when they experience their first period.

More than half of teen girls (57%) got their first period at age 11 or 12 (according to a luna poll of 2,516 teens).

Nearly 1 in 3 teen girls (29%) told us period cramps are the hardest part of managing periods at school (according to a luna poll with 2,492 teens).

You can help by:

• Building a first period kit together
• Chatting about school-period confidence
• Downloading luna together for support on cramps, tracking, product guides and emotional changes

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Try to keep the conversation going

Even if they say “it’s fine”, don’t share with you or shrug off questions, most teens do want to feel supported. 

Over 1 in 3 teen girls say they want parents to help by listening without judgement during times of stress.

Try these prompts:

• “What was the best bit of school today?”
• “Is there anything that made you feel a bit awkward or unsure?”
• “Would it help if I helped you find a resource for homework?”

For more ideas, see luna’s guides on helping teens start revision and supporting stressed teens.

A secondary school transition checklist for parents

In case you aren’t sure what your child’s biggest concerns might be, but you want to cover as many bases as possible, here’s a checklist you might want to follow:

• Attend any transition or taster days offered by the new school
• Walk or travel the new route together in advance
• Practice using a timetable
• Practice packing a school bag
• Set expectations around phone use, homework, and sleep
• Talk about what to do if something feels overwhelming

We also have a back to school supplies list which might come in handy.

What are secondary school transition days and activities?

Many UK schools host transition days in Year 6 to help children meet teachers, explore the building, and take part in fun icebreaker activities.

If your child has a transition day planned, talk them through what to expect and celebrate the experience afterward.

If you aren’t sure whether or not they do, you can get in touch with your child’s school for further details.

Signs your child is adjusting well to the secondary school transition

Sometimes all you can do is guess at how they’re doing, or look for signs if they aren’t ready to share.

Know that a smooth transition doesn’t mean zero wobble. But, generally, positive signs may include:

• Growing confidence in the school routine
• Showing interest in subjects or schoolwork
• Maintaining high self-esteem
• Building at least one or two new friendships

For those showing signs of stress, anxiety, or low mood, luna’s resources can help both you and them navigate the next step.

Try our guides on supporting your teen’s mental health, signs of low self-esteem or school anxiety if needed.

Supporting their independence (and your own nerves)

Starting secondary school often means more independence – like walking alone, navigating public transport, or having their first smartphone.

📱Did you know: 7 in 10 teen girls told us they got their first phone at 11 or younger. 

If you're giving them their first smartphone, look through luna’s guide to teen apps and our support for teen phone habits.

👣 If they’re walking alone for the first time, luna also has age-appropriate advice in the app to help them stay safe and confident

👩‍🏫 They may also be starting PSHE education. You can learn more about what PSHE means – and how luna complements what they learn in school with our inclusive, evidence-based content

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If your teen’s online, they need the luna app – the antidote to social media

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You don’t need to have all the answers

It’s okay if you or your child are feeling unsure at this time – it’s part of the process.

Keep celebrating the small wins, like remembering their locker code or making it through the first day.

And when in doubt, luna’s here to help.

luna is a health and wellbeing app for teen girls and people with periods.

It’s full of safe, teen-friendly advice on everything from friendship worries to period hacks – including a dedicated section on starting secondary school.

Rated 4.8

If your teen’s online, they need the luna app – the antidote to social media

Find out more