In short

Your co-parent usually needs to know your daughter has started her period, even if the relationship between you is rocky. 

The aim isn't to share every detail: it's to make sure she's supported in both homes. 

A short heads up, agreed period kits in each house, and following her lead on what she wants shared is usually all it takes. 

If your co-parent feels out of their depth, point them to a resource and let them learn.

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Period tracking & more for teens. Guidance for parents.

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Should I tell my co-parent that our daughter has started her period?

In almost all cases, yes. Periods are a regular, ongoing part of her life now: her co-parent needs to know enough to look after her properly when she's with them.

Reasons it's worth telling them:

• She may need products, painkillers, or comfort while at their home
• She may have heavier or more painful periods over time, which need adult awareness
• Being out of the loop can make a co-parent feel side-lined and react badly later
• She shouldn't have to hide it (or carry the burden of telling them herself, unless she wants to)

The exception is if there's a safeguarding concern: if you have any reason to believe sharing this information could put your daughter at risk, speak to a professional first. 

In every other case, your co-parent being informed is in her interest.

A luna poll of 1,732 girls found that 36% learned about periods from a parent or guardian as their main source. That trusted-adult role is just as important in your co-parent's house as it is in yours.

How do I actually bring it up?

Keep it short, factual, and respectful. This is a co-parenting handover, not a heart to heart.

What tends to work:

• Send it in writing if face to face is hard (text or email is fine)
• Stick to the facts: she's started her period, here's what she needs
• Agree what's in each home (products, painkillers, hot water bottle)
• Note what she's comfortable with you sharing, and what she'd rather they don't bring up
• Keep it brief: this isn't the moment for old grievances

A simple message can look like this: "Hi, just letting you know [daughter] has started her period. She has a kit at mine. Can you make sure there are pads in the bathroom at yours? She'd rather not have a big chat about it, but if she asks for anything, please just give her what she needs."

You don't owe an emotional conversation if you don't want one. Functional is enough.

What if my co-parent doesn't know much about periods?

That's normal, especially if your co-parent is her dad or didn't grow up around periods being talked about openly. Most adults learn what they need on the fly.

Helpful things you can do:

• Send him or her a link to a starter resource (don't lecture)
• Agree what each home will have stocked
• Be patient with the first few cycles: he or she will figure it out
• Let your daughter set the tone of any conversations she wants to have

luna has a few guides written specifically for this:

• Preparing dad for your daughter's period
• How to have the father-daughter period talk
• How to explain periods to your daughter (useful if either of you needs a primer)

A short message ("here's a guide that explains the basics, no pressure") usually lands better than a long explanation.

What if she started her period at his or her house?

It happens. A luna poll of 2,516 girls found that 57% got their first period at age 11 or 12, often without warning, and 13% at age 10 or younger. The first one can absolutely happen on a non-mum weekend.

What to do if it happens at his or her house:

• If your daughter calls you, stay calm and reassure her she's fine
• If your co-parent calls you, talk through what's needed (a pad, a hot water bottle, a change of clothes)
• If she's on her own with a co-parent who has no products, the closest pharmacy or supermarket will have pads
• In the UK, schools and many public buildings stock free period products (the law in Scotland, and increasingly available in England and Wales)
• If she'd like to come to you, that's fine too. If she's settled where she is, that's also fine

If your daughter is showing signs that her period might be on its way, luna’s guide on signs your daughter is about to start her first period may help both homes prepare.

How do we keep both homes period-ready?

A simple kit in each house solves most logistical problems. It also tells your daughter that both homes have her covered, which matters more than you might think.

What a basic period kit needs:

• A small range of pads (light and medium, or her preferred type)
• Spare pants
• Paracetamol or ibuprofen suitable for her age
• A hot water bottle or heat patches
• Wipes or a pack of tissues
• A small bag for used products
• A discreet pouch she can take to school

Each home doesn't need to be identical. They just need to be enough. luna’s guide on where to buy teen period products has practical pointers.

If she's still working out which products suit her best, choosing the best period products for tweens and teens is worth sharing with her co-parent, too.

What if my co-parent doesn't take her symptoms seriously?

This is a real and common worry. Severe period pain, fatigue, or low mood can all get brushed off as "drama", especially by adults who weren't taught much about periods themselves.

Things that can help:

• Share what's normal and what isn't, so they have something to compare against
• Agree, with your daughter, that she can call you from their house if she needs to
• Track her cycles together so you both have data, not just stories
• Gently push back when comments cross the line ("she's missing school: that's not normal pain")
• Back her up if she says her pain is severe

The NHS is clear: period pain that affects daily life should be looked at by a GP. If your daughter's symptoms warrant an appointment, that conversation should happen in both homes.

How do I help my daughter feel supported in both homes?

The biggest thing is letting her lead. She'll have her own preferences for what gets shared, who knows what, and how openly she wants to talk about it.

Some things that often help:

• Ask her, calmly, what she's comfortable with you telling her co-parent
• Let her decide who she'd rather call when she has cramps or runs out of products
• Don't force a "period chat" between her and a co-parent if she doesn't want one
• Normalise it across both homes (a hot water bottle waiting, a packet of pads in the bathroom)
• Track her cycle so she's not caught out moving between houses. luna's guide on how to track your daughter's period is a good starting point

FAQ

Do I have to tell my co-parent if our daughter doesn't want me to?

It's a balance. In most cases, the practical case for telling them is strong (she'll need products, support, and possibly time off). 

But she should be involved in the conversation. Agree on what gets shared and how, so she feels in control.

What if my co-parent reacts badly?

Keep the focus on your daughter. You don't have to manage their reaction: that's their work, not yours. 

Stick to the practical (kit, support, awareness) and step back from anything that turns into an old argument.

Should her stepmum or stepdad be involved?

If they're a regular adult presence in her life, usually yes, especially if she's comfortable with it.

Let your daughter set the tone. Some teens find a stepmum easier to talk to than a dad, and that's a gift, not a threat.

What if my co-parent and I don't speak?

Written communication (text, email, a co-parenting app) works fine. Period information doesn't need a phone call. A short, neutral message is enough.

Can I share luna articles with my co-parent?

Absolutely. luna's guides are written for any parent or guardian, regardless of how much they already know. Preparing dad for your daughter's period is a popular starting point.

A small note before her next period

Co-parenting periods doesn't have to be perfect: it just has to be good enough in both homes. The kit, the awareness, the calm response when she needs help. Most teens settle into a rhythm faster than parents expect, especially when they feel supported.

If your daughter is in severe pain, bleeding so heavily she feels dizzy or faint, or you're worried about her safety, contact NHS 111 or ask for an urgent GP appointment.

Rated 4.8

Period tracking & more for teens. Guidance for parents.

Find out more